Scramble UC
by NOT 80K Hikigaya
Summary: [Unofficial Continuation/Conclusion] Original story by [80K Hikigaya], go read that first. Opportunity has finally come knocking. Schrödinger's winner may be in effect, though. Rating may change because of later chapters. [Ongoing]
1. Chapter 2 UC - Route YH

Before reading this story, please read the original Scramble by [80K Hikigaya]. storyid: 11950995

This is an Unofficial Continuation [UC], not at all considered canon to [80K Hikigaya]'s original vision, whatever that may be.

* * *

**Chapter 2 [UC] — Route Y.H.**

* * *

Unbeknownst to Hachiman, four ladies in Saizeriya were currently contemplating what was perhaps the most important decision of their lives to date.

"Date" was unusually appropriate in this case, as Hachiman had just dropped a casual bombshell on them regarding his laissez-faire attitude towards _receiving_ a confession. He had long since given up on _giving_ confessions, after the middle school disaster that he could never truly leave behind.

His attitude stemmed from his self-evident truth (Source: Hachiman) that no sane girl would seriously try to ask him out as part of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. No, Service Club requests did not count. Neither did Iroha's numerous "practice dates", which had not slowed down in recent months, despite her having already being rejected by Hayato once. In fact, the frequency has increased, for some reason.

Hachiman made a mental note to bring this up with Isshiki in the near future, in order to wrest back control of his precious weekends. His wallet would also be extremely grateful.

He suddenly noticed the odd atmosphere and looked up at the rest of the table. No one else had so much as touched their food, and wasting (free) food didn't sit right with Hachiman.

"Um. Yukinoshita. Yuigahama. Isshiki. Kawa- uh, Saki. Are you all right? Food's getting cold, you know."

The girls snapped out of their trance upon hearing Hachiman speak. At least one of them partially evolved into a tomato before shaking her head vigorously.

Three guesses who, and the first two don't count.

"I-it's nothing, Hikki! Just surprised that you said all that stuff just now."

"Indeed, Hikigaya-kun. I had presumed that you would grow old and come to rely entirely on your sister, Komachi, so hearing you talk about a purely hypothetical, and in my opinion, non-existent girlfriend was quite eye-opening." Yukino paused before adding, "But your eyes, even if opened, would still be dead."

Hachiman knew that Yukino would never let an opportunity to belittle his little eyes pass by that easily.

"I resent your implication of me being a sis-con, Yukinoshita. Also, Komachi is the best little sister in the known universe, so even if I never did get a girlfriend, Komachi would not hesitate to take care of her awesome older brother for the rest of our lives." His response only earned him several concerned looks.

"Senpai, that's really disgusting, you knooooooow?" Hachiman swore he felt some hidden meaning in her response, but chalked it up to Iroha's archetype overlapping with Komachi's to some extent.

Saki coughed. "While it's admirable that you two siblings share such a close and unbreakable bond, I think you need to set healthy limits on how far you should and shouldn't go."

_Hypocrite! You're a bro-con yourself! And why are all four of you ganging up on me all of a sudden?_

"Whatever. Let's just eat, OK? I can't debate on an empty stomach."

Peace and quiet reigned over the group as the earlier subject returned to the forefront of the girls' minds. Strategies were rapidly being formed, refined, discarded, adjusted, but no action would be taken at the moment. With too many rivals in the same area, it would be unrealistic to expect "him" to accept any of the girls' confessions right then and there. Putting that amount of pressure on him would be unfair to him.

They were still young maidens, after all. Rejection hurts, but rejection in a public place, in front of several competing love rivals, there would be no recovery from such a brutal social execution.

_Hikki says he's fine with 'weirdos'. Am I a 'weirdo'? I know I'm not as smart as Yukinon, and I can't cook, so maybe I don't have a ch-, Bad Yui! Don't think that way! I like Hikki a lot, so I __can__ and I __will__ improve myself if it's for him!_

_A relationship with Hikigaya-kun? I'll admit, I wouldn't have considered it back then when I first met him, but now, he seems to have become a little bit more dependable lately. That he also seems to be unfazed by Nee-san's antics compared to other men is also one less concern, should he and I become a couple._

_He did say he loved me back then, didn't he? He really sounded like he meant it, too. Doesn't that mean that if I confess, the feelings are mutual? But we're both loner-types, so would it even work out for us? Get a hold of yourself, Saki! This might be your only chance!_

_Senpai really is quite dense, having taken me out on several 'practice' dates already. That gives me an advantage over the rest of them, right? But wait, I've also 'rejected' senpai multiple times, which might have given him the wrong idea that I wasn't interested in him, so I put myself at a disadvantage?_

In the immortal words of a certain DJ, "Congratulations, you played yourself."

Hikigaya continued to consume his meal, hoping to quickly finish and pay and get the hell out of there.

But fate, as it were, seems to have been hell-bent on toying with him just a little bit longer.

"Eh? Is that you, Hikigaya?" Fate had sent her emissary, and Hikigaya immediately recognized that voice.

_Why must you always do this to me, rom-com gods?_

The enthusiastic woman approaching the group of teenagers was none other than Yukinoshita's older sister and persistent tormentor of Hikigaya, Yukinoshita Haruno.

Suffice to say, she was among the _last_ persons he wanted to see right now. It was a very short list.

In an alternate universe, it may have been the _other_ person on that list who appeared in front of them.

But that is a story for another time. Maybe by another author. Or in a different language altogether.

Returning to the soon-to-be-crime-scene (casualties: Hikigaya's peaceful afternoon, maybe more), our hapless hero Hikigaya Hachiman hurriedly and haphazardly decided to nip this problem in the bud, by openly returning the greeting.

"Yo. What brings you here, Yukinoshita Haruno?" He clearly wasn't going to call her by her given name, as that would imply closeness that no man or woman would ever truly achieve. Hikigaya was all too aware of the way Haruno held everybody at arm's length, that no one truly knew the real Yukinoshita Haruno.

He also wasn't foolish enough to believe this meeting to be a mere coincidence. Not with the elder Yukinoshita's network and resources, not to mention her sixth sense for incessant meddling in her younger sister's life. But bringing that up now would only play right into Haruno's waiting hands, and that little bit of satisfaction would not so freely given to her today.

"Would you believe me if I said it was a coincidence?" Haruno made absolutely no effort to feign innocence, already knowing exactly how Hachiman's thought processes worked.

Hachiman simply rolled his eyes. "No way in hell." The game had already begun, and Hachiman's record stood at zero wins, ? losses, and maybe one or two draws.

"Nee-san?" Yukino knew that if her older sister pried into their conversation just now, Yukino would never hear the end of it. She had to convince Haruno to leave; no meddling could be permitted on today of all days!

"Yukino-chan! Gahama-chan! Student Council President! And…um…" Struggling to remember, Haruno managed to find the answer she was looking for. "Kawasaki!"

The ponytailed girl was shocked. As far as she could tell, the two of them had never interacted, let alone to the point where she would have left an impression on this woman. Even Hikigaya still couldn't remember her name!

"Um, I'm sorry, but have we met before?" Haruno was intimidating, even when trying to be friendly, leading to Saki's cautious approach.

"Don't worry about it! I keep track of all the ladies in Hachiman's life!" boasted Haruno.

"""""!""""" Five simultaneous red flags went off at that moment.

Five teenage faces also simultaneously went red, not missing the implications of Haruno's statement.

Yukino was the first to recover. "Nee-san! Don't say things that may cause misunderstandings!"

"Oh? But I'm fairly certain nothing about that was incorrect." Haruno leaned in closer to Yukino, like a snake about to strike. "Or were the lot of you not just discussing the non-existent possibility of a girl confessing to Ha-Chi-Man here?"

Isshiki, feeling the atmosphere tense up even further, asked, "Wait, you overheard us talking about Senpai's views on romance?" Being the youngest in the group, she felt even smaller before the force of nature known as Yukinoshita Haruno.

"Y-you shouldn't eavesdrown on people, Haruno-san! That's rude!" chastised Yui.

"Yuigahama, the word is 'eavesdrop'," corrected Yukino.

"That's not important right now," Hachiman butted in. "Fine, so you heard everything. Are you here just to tease your younger sister as usual?" He was already used to this routine between the sisters, though he really wished they would leave him out of it, even if it was related to him.

"That _was_ my initial plan," admitted Haruno, "But after hearing you reaffirm that you aren't a picky type-"

"Beggars can't be choosers, after all." Hachiman's self-depreciation was constant as always.

"Secondly, that you still intend to pursue your dream of becoming a househusband, despite society not recognizing it as a valid career choice-" Haruno counted off another finger.

"Are you still serious about that, Hikigaya?" questioned Kawasaki. She did recall that he was rather comfortable around her younger sister, Keika, and even their brother, Taishi, looked up to him.

"What? 'To work is to lose' has always been my motto." He shrugged, feeling no need to explain any further.

"And finally, that because of your twisted worldview, 'normal' is not a necessary condition that you seek in a partner," summarized Haruno. "Did I miss anything?" She glanced around the table, waiting for someone to speak up.

"…No, that's pretty much it. Don't tell me that you're actually planning to set me up on a blind date, now that you know all this."

"Hikigaya-kun, I fear for whoever has the misfortune of going on a blind date with you," Yukino said.

"Hikki, I don't think it's a good idea. What if she tries to trick you?" worried Yui.

"Although, given Senpai's eyes, I think a literally blind date would be the only way she wouldn't run away screaming at the first sight of him," quipped Isshiki.

_Oi, oi, why are you all ganging up on me again?_ bemoaned Hikigaya. "For the record, Haruno, I don't trust you to set me up with anybody out of the goodness of your heart. You'll most likely end up spying on us, just to derive some entertainment from our awkwardness."

"Drat, you got me there, Hachiman." Haruno was clearly having too much fun playing the role of a cartoonish villain, much to Hikigaya's dismay. "Aren't you going to invite me to sit with you all?"

"And have you tease us for the remainder of our mealtime? No, thank you."

"It pains me to say this, but I agree with Hikigaya-kun," Yukino stated as she reluctantly sided with him.

"You wound me, dear sister!" Haruno made an exaggerated clutching motion at her heart; if she ever decided to go into acting, she could undoubtedly win many awards for her convincing portrayals.

"But before I leave, I just have one more thing to say…"

_Why do I hear boss music?_ thought the four other girls.

"Hikigaya Hachiman-"

His face swung back around to look Haruno in the eye, not having expected her to use his full name.

"Will you go out with me?"

Several sets of silverware clattered to the table. The diners continued to chew, but at a slower pace.

Haruno pouted, impatiently waiting for a response from the sole male of the group.

Hachiman tried to play his only card, 108 Loner Skills [**SELECTIVE DEAFNESS**].

"Eh? Sorry, I wasn't paying attenti-"

"I asked if you were willing to go out with me," interrupted the devil woman, all traces of friendliness now gone. It was phrased as less of a question and more like a demand.

_If I accept, I may regret it in the future. But if I refuse her here, knowing her, she will definitely make me regret it. _Hachiman's survival instincts had kicked into high gear, debating between the fight or flight choices.

Kawasaki tried to jump to Hikigaya's defense. "Haruno-san, you're an incredibly attractive and popular woman. Hikigaya is a loner at the bottom of the social caste. There's no way it could work out."

"Ara? Are you trying to keep him to yourself, Saki-chan, under the belief that 'birds of a feather flock together' is more relevant than 'opposites attract'?" Haruno wagged her finger in mock disappointment. "I'll tell you this right now, once I have my sights set on something, I won't let anything — or anyone — get in my way."

Yukino recalled several unpleasant memories from her childhood just then and shuddered. Yui gave her a comforting hug as she was wont to do, but they were both shaking.

"Senpai, aren't you going to tell her off?" demanded Isshiki. "She's way too old for you, right?"

But to their shock, Hikigaya Hachiman was seriously contemplating the decision.

Granted, had the earlier discussion not primed him to give it a second thought, he would have already skedaddled out of there long ago.

"You know what, Haruno?"

She held her breath, waiting for him to continue.

"You're right, my wish to become a magnificent househusband does indeed mean that whoever I end up with will have to earn enough for both of us." A not-so-hidden grin began to form on Haruno's face.

"Hikki, no!"

"Hikigaya-kun, please reconsider!"

"Senpai, what are you saying?"

"Hikigaya, it seems I've misjudged you."

"In addition to that, you seem to have a warped interest in me, in spite of my best efforts to dissuade you, you are certainly easy on the eyes, and in the worst case that things go south, I'll just return to my loner ways, so it's a win-win in my book."

"I'm so thrilled to hear that, Hachiman!"

The bitterness in Hikigaya's soul seemed to have left him and relocated to the four heartbroken maidens sitting with him.

"I don't believe this; Nee-san has taken something precious from me _again_…" muttered Yukino.

"Oh, cheer up! Once we get married, you can see Hachiman every day, if you want! I'll even 'loan' him out to you when I'm not there!"

"Wait, what's this nonsense about getting married? I thought we were just talking about dating as boyfriend-girlfriend!" a confused Hikigaya questioned.

"Ah, let's just skip all that boring courtship and jump straight into husband-wife roles! Besides, it's not like we're strangers, Ha-Chi-Man!" Haruno's eyes were starting to lose the clarity and sanity from before.

"B-but Hikki's still in high school! It's too early for him to get married!"

"No problem! We'll just elope to somewhere else first!"

"But what about Komachi? He can't leave his little sister all by herself!" countered Saki.

"I'll arrange for her to live with us, then! Or maybe near us, when we want privacy." Haruno continued dismantling their arguments, having put way too much thought into this scenario ahead of time.

Hachiman threw his hands up in defeat. "Do what you want, Haruno. It's not like I can fight back anymore." _At least I can get the last laugh on Hiratsuka-sensei._

Somewhere, a perpetually-single teacher sneezed violently.

"Now that that's settled, let's go pick out a wedding ring, Hachiman!" Haruno began to drag him out of his seat and away from the rest of the group.

"Can't I at least finish my meal first?" whined the hapless groom-to-be.

Haruno simply ignored his pleas and continued onward.

She was already imagining a typical day of married life, her coming home from work, Hikigaya greeting her in nothing but an apron, with the cliché "Dinner, bath, or me?"

Haruno began to cackle madly, while Hikigaya Hachiman (soon to be Yukinoshita Hachiman) simply shook his head.

_I pray to whatever RomCom gods that Haruno gets bored of me sooner rather than later, because I don't think I can handle her for the rest of my life._

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**Yukinoshita Haruno End [ED1]**

**Author's Notes:**

_Hi. My name is Naught ATK HickeyGuyAh. I am a relatively new author and definitely not a creepy doppleganger making unsanctioned continuations of a bunch of unfinished fics collecting dust in the back pages of the Oregairu section._

But for real, the same caveats from Obsession [UC] apply here as well.

First things first: I'm [**NOT 80K Hikigaya**], not [**80K Hikigaya**]. Big difference.

Second, I tried to get in touch with him (her?), but to no avail. That's why I've explicitly labeled this as a [**UC**]. Or Unofficial Continuation, or Unofficial Conclusion, in this case. Should the real [**80K Hikigaya**] ever return and express displeasure with my take/desecration on his/her story, I will remove it post-haste.

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**Wedding Omake**

"Yukinon, I really think we shouldn't ruin your sister's wedding like this." Yuigahama had been against the idea from the very start, but was waging an internal conflict due to her loyalty to her best friend.

"Yuigahama-san, I do believe that I told you already that I would not hold it against you if you decided not to accompany me today. This is between me and Nee-san, after all." There was no coldness in Yukinoshita's words; every bit of that had been completely sincere.

"You say that, Yukinoshita-sempai, but the truth is that you want Senpai all to yourself, which is why you didn't want any of us tagging along!" Isshiki had somehow caught wind of the younger Yukinoshita's plans, her unexpected presence could be used to Yukino's advantage.

Kawasaki had excused herself, citing some nonsense about marriage being a sacred union and that when, not if, Hikigaya Hachiman and Yukinoshita Haruno inevitably separated, Kawasaki Saki would strike. [**1:** Thus, Kawasaki Saki Strikes, by Slalem]

There really was no need for the convoluted strategy that Yukino had devised; all of them had been formally invited to the wedding in the first place. Citing a fictional mandatory schoolwide event, the trio had apologized for being unable to attend, wishing the bride and groom well.

It didn't matter to them that Haruno likely figured out their intentions almost immediately. It didn't matter to them that the patriarch and matriarch of the Yukinoshita household would never forgive them for embarrassing them in front of so many people. It didn't matter that Hikigaya was not consulted on the matter.

All that mattered was that Haruno was not allowed to monopolize Hikigaya Hachiman.

"Yukinon, couldn't we have changed after we arrived at the ceremony?" All of them were wearing pristine wedding dresses, 'borrowed' from…somewhere. They kind of looked familiar… [**2:** OreGaIru Season 1 OVA]

"There was one more dress, wasn't there, senpais? Was it originally for Kawasaki-senpai?" asked Isshiki, unaware that a certain teacher had also participated in the strange "Wife Contest" from before her time.

"If we had asked _her_ to come along, I fear there may have been more uncontrolled chaos, which would have affected our plans." A bitter, single, Hiratsuka-sensei attending the wedding of two of her former students would have driven her berserk.

But worse than that was the possibility of Hiratsuka-sensei betraying the other girls, which themselves had formed an uneasy alliance.

Eventually, they arrived at the site of the wedding, the other guests already seated inside, unaware of the brewing maelstrom just outside.

"Yuigahama-san, Isshiki-san, this is your last chance to back out. I will not begrudge you for doing so, as I have emphasized before."

"Nuh-uh, Yukinon. We're all in this together!"

"Senpai is counting on all of us to save him from Haruno-san's clutches!"

Taking a deep breath, Yukino flung open the doors, garnering the attention of literally everyone at once.

Mr. and Mrs. Yukinoshita responded immediately. "What is the meaning of this, Yukino? How dare you refuse your sister's wedding invitation, only to show up unannounced!" scolded her father.

"I am very disappointed in you, daughter, for I thought that you were raised to be better than this," chastised her mother.

Ignoring their words and the multitude of shocked looks, Yukino began strolling towards Haruno and Hachiman.

"Haruno!"

"Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of wallowing in self-pity, you're coming right to me? Even though no one utters the traditional 'Speak now or forever hold your peace' line anymore, you're still futilely trying to object, when you have no grounds to stand on?" Haruno decided to play it up for the audience, remembering one of Hiratsuka-sensei's favorite shounen manga. [**3: **Yes, a freakin' Jojo reference.]

"I can't steal Hachiman away from you without getting closer."

"Oh ho! Then come as close as you like!" taunted Haruno.

Hachiman, still reeling from the fact that he was getting married to Haruno of all people, couldn't believe what was happening. Were the sisters really about to engage in a fight over him?

"This is all a mistake, Nee-san! You're just doing all this for your own amusement!"

"Yukino, why are you so stubborn about admitting defeat?"

"Because we have the same type of personalities, Nee-san."

Yuigahama whispered to Isshiki, completely forgetting their assigned roles. "Do you have any idea what they're talking about?"

"Not a clue, Yuigahama-senpai," admitted Isshiki.

Before the sisters could come to blows, another voice rang out from the doorway.

"Hikigaya-kun belongs to me!" A mysterious silhouette with twin braids, vaguely familiar to Hikigaya, stood in the doorway.

"No way, is that you, S-"

**ROUNDABOUT BEGINS TO PLAY**

_[__TO BE CONTINUED]_


	2. Chapter 2 UC - Route OK

Before reading this story, please read the original Scramble by [80K Hikigaya]. storyid: 11950995

This is an Unofficial Continuation [UC], not at all considered canon to [80K Hikigaya]'s original vision, whatever that may be.

* * *

**Chapter 2 [UC] — Route O.K.**

* * *

Unbeknownst to Hachiman, four ladies in Saizeriya were currently contemplating what was perhaps the most important decision of their lives to date.

"Date" was unusually appropriate in this case, as Hachiman had just dropped a casual bombshell on them regarding his laissez-faire attitude towards _receiving_ a confession. He had long since given up on _giving_ confessions, after the middle school disaster that he could never truly leave behind.

His attitude stemmed from his self-evident truth (Source: Hachiman) that no sane girl would seriously try to ask him out as part of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. No, Service Club requests did not count. Neither did Iroha's numerous "practice dates", which had not slowed down in recent months, despite her having already being rejected by Hayato once. In fact, the frequency has increased, for some reason.

Hachiman made a mental note to bring this up with Isshiki in the near future, in order to wrest back control of his precious weekends. His wallet would also be extremely grateful.

He suddenly noticed the odd atmosphere and looked up at the rest of the table. No one else had so much as touched their food, and wasting (free) food didn't sit right with Hachiman.

"Um. Yukinoshita. Yuigahama. Isshiki. Kawa- uh, Saki. Are you all right? Food's getting cold, you know."

The girls snapped out of their trance upon hearing Hachiman speak. At least one of them partially evolved into a tomato before shaking her head vigorously.

Three guesses who, and the first two don't count.

"I-it's nothing, Hikki! Just surprised that you said all that stuff just now."

"Indeed, Hikigaya-kun. I had presumed that you would grow old and come to rely entirely on your sister, Komachi, so hearing you talk about a purely hypothetical, and in my opinion, non-existent girlfriend was quite eye-opening." Yukino paused before adding, "But your eyes, even if opened, would still be dead."

Hachiman knew that Yukino would never let an opportunity to belittle his little eyes pass by that easily.

"I resent your implication of me being a sis-con, Yukinoshita. Also, Komachi is the best little sister in the known universe, so even if I never did get a girlfriend, Komachi would not hesitate to take care of her awesome older brother for the rest of our lives." His response only earned him several concerned looks.

"Senpai, that's really disgusting, you knooooooow?" Hachiman swore he felt some hidden meaning in her response, but chalked it up to Iroha's archetype overlapping with Komachi's to some extent.

Saki coughed. "While it's admirable that you two siblings share such a close and unbreakable bond, I think you need to set healthy limits on how far you should and shouldn't go."

_Hypocrite! You're a bro-con yourself! And why are all four of you ganging up on me all of a sudden?_

"Whatever. Let's just eat, OK? I can't debate on an empty stomach."

Peace and quiet reigned over the group as the earlier subject returned to the forefront of the girls' minds. Strategies were rapidly being formed, refined, discarded, adjusted, but no action would be taken at the moment. With too many rivals in the same area, it would be unrealistic to expect "him" to accept any of the girls' confessions right then and there. Putting that amount of pressure on him would be unfair to him.

They were still young maidens, after all. Rejection hurts, but rejection in a public place, in front of several competing love rivals, there would be no recovery from such a brutal social execution.

_Hikki says he's fine with 'weirdos'. Am I a 'weirdo'? I know I'm not as smart as Yukinon, and I can't cook, so maybe I don't have a ch-, Bad Yui! Don't think that way! I like Hikki a lot, so I __can__ and I __will__ improve myself if it's for him!_

_A relationship with Hikigaya-kun? I'll admit, I wouldn't have considered it back then when I first met him, but now, he seems to have become a little bit more dependable lately. That he also seems to be unfazed by Nee-san's antics compared to other men is also one less concern, should he and I become a couple._

_He did say he loved me back then, didn't he? He really sounded like he meant it, too. Doesn't that mean that if I confess, the feelings are mutual? But we're both loner-types, so would it even work out for us? Get a hold of yourself, Saki! This might be your only chance!_

_Senpai really is quite dense, having taken me out on several 'practice' dates already. That gives me an advantage over the rest of them, right? But wait, I've also 'rejected' senpai multiple times, which might have given him the wrong idea that I wasn't interested in him, so I put myself at a disadvantage?_

In the immortal words of a certain DJ, "Congratulations, you played yourself."

Hikigaya continued to consume his meal, hoping to quickly finish and pay and get the hell out of there.

But fate, as it were, seems to have been hell-bent on toying with him just a little bit longer.

"Eh? Is that you, Hikigaya?" Fate had sent her emissary, and Hikigaya immediately recognized that voice.

_Why must you always do this to me, rom-com gods?_

The enthusiastic girl bounding towards the group was none other than Hikigaya's middle school crush and object of his ill-advised confession, rejection, and subsequent humiliation, Orimoto Kaori.

Suffice to say, she was among the _last_ persons he wanted to see right now. It was a very short list.

In an alternate universe, it may have been the _other_ person on that list who appeared in front of them.

But that is a story for another time. Maybe by another author. Or in a different language altogether.

Returning to the soon-to-be-crime-scene (casualties: Hikigaya's dignity, maybe more), our hapless hero Hikigaya Hachiman hurriedly and haphazardly decided to nip this problem in the bud, by openly returning the greeting.

"Yo, Orimoto." _Maybe I can ask Kawa-something-or-other to scare her off, if I'm lucky. Hah, as if._

"What a surprise, Hikigaya! How have you been? Haven't seen you in a whi-" Orimoto suddenly trailed off when she noticed the gaggle of attractive girls sitting with Hikigaya. Some she recognized, others, not so much. Or at all, really.

Recovering from the initial shock far quicker than any teenage girl should, she immediately barraged the group with questions.

Pointing at Yuinoshita and Yugihama, "I remember you two from that double date with Hayama! And you!" pointing at Isshiki, "you showed up and pulled Hikigaya aside on that day also!"

Whirling towards Kawasaki, Orimoto sputtered out, "Um, actually, I don't think I've ever seen you before, let alone with Hikigaya." Somewhat less energetically, Orimoto asked, "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm Kawasaki Saki, a classmate of Hikigaya, and an… acquaintance of the others here. And you?"

"Orimoto Kaori! Went to junior high with Hikigaya here! He even confessed to me back then! Course, I didn't really know him that well, so I turned him down! No hard feelings, though, right, Hikigaya?"

Everyone else's eyes widened in shock, but for completely different reasons.

Hikigaya, who had tried his best to seal away his dark history, had just had it reopened by the very cause of it. There would be no hole big enough or deep enough for him to crawl into, since there were too many witnesses at the table.

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, who vaguely knew of a failed confession in Hikigaya's past, but didn't think this mystery girl would not only come back into his life, but under such less-than-ideal circumstances. That she had been on a double date with him and Hayama also made them question her true motives.

Isshiki, who had terrified Hikigaya with a thousand-watt smile while silently interrogating him on his double date, vaguely recalled Orimoto also being present during the Christmas collaboration event, but did not consider her a potential rival for 'Senpai's' affect-, er, _attention_ at the time. Was this Hikigaya heartbreaker actually brazen enough to waltz back in and try to steal her 'Senpai' away?

Kawasaki, who had had no previous interaction with the brunette whatsoever, was more surprised to hear that her fellow loner, Hikigaya, had actually worked up the nerve to do something as nerve-wracking as a confession. _He barely approaches anyone to be friends, let alone a girlfriend!_ Who _was_ she?

Barely avoiding choking on his food, Hikigaya tried to redirect the flow of the conversation away from the uncomfortable subject. "Yes, that happened long ago. I chalk the mistake up my misunderstanding of your character, so please, can we drop this topic?"

"Well, alright, Hikigaya. I guess. By the way, what are you all doing out here together? Could it be you're quadruple-timing, you ladies' man? If your old classmates saw this scene, they'd lose their minds!"

"I-It's not like that, Orimoto-san!" Yukinoshita was the first to respond, lest there be a greater misunderstanding down the line. "We are simply here as a club activity, taking a break after a job well done." She shot a half-joking glare towards the sole male in the group, "No thanks to Hiki-complaining-kun over here."

"Club? All of you are in the same club?"

"Er, no, Orimoto. The only club members are Yukinon, Hikki, and myself." Yuigahama pointed at each person in turn before continuing. "Saki-chan and Iroha-chan are, I guess you could say, regular clients?"

"Clients? What, like a detective agency?" Orimoto hadn't ever really chatted with the Soubu girls much, so it was no surprise that she had no idea what the Service Club entailed or who was part of it.

"It's much less exciting than that, Orimoto." Now it was Hikigaya's turn to elaborate, minus the crazy hand gesturing, unlike that of a certain student council president. "We simply take requests, however unreasonable, and do the best we can under the circumstances to fulfill them according to the client's wishes. But the difference is that we usually don't get paid. Today was an exception, and Saki here graciously decided to treat us."

The other girls noticed the tomato-human hybrid somehow turned even redder than earlier.

Hikigaya, of course, was too dense to realize the effects of his words. As usual.

"I'm here because I saw Senpai and thought, 'What is _he_ doing out on a weekend? He _never_ goes anywhere on a weekend unless _somebody_ drags him somewhere!' So, I clearly had to come over and check out what was going on." Hikigaya wanted to make a retort about _who_ had been the most frequent culprit, but figured that the less people who knew about the 'practice dates', the better.

Orimoto looked a little disappointed; perhaps she had hoped to stumble upon some juicy drama.

"So you're _not_ here, with four girls, trying unsuccessfully to make peace after they all found out you were seeing them behind their backs simultaneously?" teased Orimoto, drawing Hikigaya's ire yet again.

"You heard what Isshiki said about my inherent laziness; what makes you think I would have a girlfriend, let alone four at the same time?" Hikigaya _really_ wanted to get this nonsense over with ASAP.

Orimoto reeled internally. _Wait, Hikigaya knows all these beauties, including that enigmatic nee-san who set up the whole double date and knew Hayama, and __none__ of them is his girlfriend?_

_…Is Hikigaya secretly gay for Hayama?_ She had to probe further, this was way too interesting!

"Hikigaya, have you confessed to anyone, boy or girl, since you last confessed to me?"

Hikigaya groaned; somehow, the topic had boomeranged back to this again. "No, Orimoto, I have not."

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama wanted to point out that Hikigaya, had, in fact, confessed to Ebina Hina during the Kyoto trip, though they were very aware that it was not made with serious romantic intentions, nor was it successful. This thought was quashed immediately, as it would only bring back unpleasant memories of Hikigaya's social suicide methods.

Kawasaki did not want to reveal that during the school festival, Hikigaya had, unbeknownst to everyone else, inadvertently sort-of-but-not-really-maybe confessed to her. Once again, Hikigaya had underestimated the power of words and the ambiguity that leads to misunderstandings. Strangely, these seemed to occur more frequently with Kawasaki than with any other girl. Perhaps her loner lifestyle had dulled her social skills to the point where misinterpretations became more common.

"…Has anybody, male or female, confessed to you, then?"

_I wish a certain tennis-playing angel would confess to me! But alas, it is not meant to be!_

Coughing, Hikigaya responded curtly, "No, nothing like that has ever happened to me." _Dammit, free food is totally not worth this meaningless and potentially harmful interrogation! Leave me be already!_

"But, as you were saying earlier, Hikigaya-kun, if any girl were to ask you out, you would, in all likelihood, due to your desperation, say 'yes' immediately. Is that not what you admitted yourself?" Yukinoshita just _had_ to bring that up while Orimoto was present. Hikigaya's day was just getting _better_ and _better_.

"Whoa, Hikigaya, I didn't know you were so popular now that girls were asking _you_ out! Hilarious! What a turnaround, am I right?" Orimoto's comments earned yet another displeased look from him, not that she was affected in the least. She probably had a naturally high anti-dead-fish-eyed-stare stat.

"_Nobody_ has asked me out. Were you not listening earlier?"

"…What if _I_ wanted to ask you out, then, Hikigaya?" Orimoto's demeanor suddenly did a 180.

The entire table froze. Surely, Orimoto was just joking as usual, right? An eerie silence hung over the group as they processed the words, then the sentence as a whole, then the likely intention behind it, before coming to a conclusion.

Hikigaya finally broke the silence, "O-Orimoto, if this is meant to be a joke, I wish you wouldn't make fun of me like that. A-after all, you _did_ reject me many years ago when _I_ asked _you_ out, remember?"

"Y-Yeah! That's mean to Hikki! You shouldn't get his h-hopes up like that!"

"I agree with Yuigahama in this regard. Even though Hiki-desperate-kun has significantly lowered his expectations when it comes to a prospective romantic partner, toying with his emotions, especially given your shared past, is a step too far, Orimoto-san."

Kawasaki, being the loner she had been this whole time, continued to make no remarks, merely taking in all this information before it threatened to overwhelm her.

"E-Even if Senpai was that desperate, I don't think he would accept either!" Isshiki joined in.

Orimoto was at a loss. Not just at the combined ardent defense of Hikigaya, but also at her own heart. She had intended to write that off as a joke, as befitting of her personality. But she had sensed, in those statements defending him, that each of the girls (minus the silent Kawa-something) had ulterior motives for dissuading Orimoto from even attempting to confess, whether jokingly or not.

Did she have…_rivals_ for Hikigaya's heart? Did _Orimoto_ _herself_ want Hikigaya's heart?

She immediately thought back to Hikigaya's response; he _hadn't_ rejected her yet, having taken her suggestion as a joke, which was entirely within reason for him. Maybe, just maybe, she could test the waters to see if her heart could clear up.

Orimoto mentally steeled herself for the worst outcome and spoke. _Nothing ventured, nothing gained._

"I, Orimoto Kaori, like you, Hikigaya Hachiman. Will you go out with me?"

Somewhere in Japan, a certain hand-gesticulating student council president with a not-so-subtle crush on a certain individual screamed in terror.

The food continued to grow cold.

For the umpteenth time that day, silence reigned. It was a good thing that none of the teenagers were currently actively eating, or else the silverware would have clattered to the table, knocking them out of their stupor.

"O-Orimoto, as I said, if this is some sort of a joke, pleas-" Hikigaya was suddenly cut off by her.

"It's not a joke, Hikigaya. I am completely serious about this." Her eyes bore into his; he could find no lie.

"…Why now? What changed between then and now, Orimoto? We've barely interacted; even on that disaster of a double date, you and your friend were more interested in Hayama. You can't mean to tell me that you've suddenly developed feelings for me. …Right?"

"I- I don't really know, to be honest."

Hikigaya needed a moment to get his bearings. There wasn't going to be a grace period; Orimoto deserved a straight answer from him, though he was obviously caught unprepared.

"I-" He gulped. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can accept your offer. I don't see you that way anymore."

Orimoto, to her credit, did not immediately tear up or experience a visible breakdown. A lone tear streaked down her cheek as she muttered, "Oh. So that's how it is."

"The middle school incident did a number on my personality, but now I think I've finally gotten over it. However, that also means my feelings for you at the time are no longer present."

"So you're saying I was too late? Or that I never had a chance?"

Hikigaya scratched his head in irritation. "Sorry, I'm kind of not used to this, so I can't really say for sure."

"There's no need to apologize, Hikigaya." Orimoto smiled. "It's kind of funny how the roles are reversed this time."

"…" Hikigaya decided not to comment on that, feeling sympathetic for Orimoto's current predicament.

"Well, I've said what I wanted to say, so I'll leave you all for today." Orimoto turned, probably to also hide the additional tears threatening to escape, intending to depart. "But we can still be friends, right, Hikigaya?"

Not wanting to shatter Orimoto any further, and despite his irrational dislike of the concept when applied to anyone not named Totsuka, Hikigaya answered, "Sure, that's fine with me, Orimoto."

"Then, see you around, and take care, Hikigaya."

"You too, Orimoto."

As the intruder departed, the other four girls felt as if the opportunity to confess was temporarily lost. They would have to find another time and place to convey their feelings.

* * *

**'Everything Is [Not] O.K.' Checkpoint — Would You Like To Save? [YES] [NO]**

* * *

**Omake**

Ten Years Later, inside the Weeping Angel Bar…

"Another glass, bartender!"

The brunette had had better days. At twenty-seven years of age, though the passage of time had been kind to her physical appearance and health, the same could not be said for her love life. After being turned down by the boy who she had once turned down herself, Orimoto Kaori could never seem to stay in a relationship for very long.

She had tried dating Tamanawa in their third year at Kaihin, but that only lasted a few months before he broke it off with her, citing that "physically, you're in this relationship, but your heart is elsewhere."

That had stung immensely. It wasn't an accusation of cheating or infidelity, but the erratic hand-waving teen had been absolutely correct. Orimoto, try as she might, had not completely gotten over Hikigaya. This persisted into her college years and beyond, with each relationship ending abruptly once her partner had noticed a similar inconsistency in her devotion.

Today had marked her eighth failed relationship. They had been together for less than three months.

"Orimoto-san, I think you've had enough. That's your eighth drink already," a familiar voice advised.

The less-than-peppy brunette raised her head from the counter, trying her best to focus her blurred vision. Eventually, a bluish-silver ponytail came into view. Orimoto tried to place a name, but the alcohol in her system combined with the lack of a strong interpersonal bond with whoever was speaking to her prevented Orimoto from coming up with anything more than an educated guess.

"Hey…it's…you, from that time," slurred Orimoto. She shook her head, realizing how dumb that must have sounded. "Sorry, I don't remember your name."

The bartender continued working, not missing a beat. Not heavily drinking on the job kind of helped keep her more sober than her patrons. "That's alright, I tend to keep a low profile, Orimoto." A pause, as she served another patron. "It's me, Kawasaki."

_Kawa, Kawasaki…_ Orimoto tried to recall where she had encountered Kawasaki before, eventually stumbling upon the memory.

"Ah! You were there when I confessed to Hikigaya!" She pointed a finger at Kawasaki, shock slightly evident on her flushed face.

"Yep. I can't believe you only recognized me just now; I've been serving you ever since the beginning of the night, you know."

"I kind of wasn't paying much attention to the details; I only wanted a frickin' drink," admitted Orimoto sheepishly.

"Mm. Do you want to talk about it? That's one of our unofficial job duties, though I'm not certified, if that's alright with you." Trying to lighten the mood, Kawasaki felt that the former love rival needed a sympathetic ear more than anything else at that moment.

"Yeah, sure, I guess." Picking up the nearly empty glass, Orimoto swirled the remaining liquid around, as if hypnotized by the motions. "Did you know Hikigaya got married recently?"

_Ah, so that's what this is about. _"Yes, I actually attended his wedding last month." Had Orimoto been more perceptive tonight, she might've noticed the wedding ring on Kawasaki's finger, indicating that at least one of them had moved past their feelings for the ex-loner.

"What?" cried Orimoto. "I didn't even receive an invitation!" She caught herself and calmed down a little before continuing. "I mean, I know that we didn't really keep in touch after high school, so it's not surprising, but…"

Choosing her next words carefully, Kawasaki suggested, "Be honest with yourself, Orimoto. Even if you had been invited, don't you think it would have been awkward for both parties?"

"I-I didn't even consider that." Downing the last of her drink, she continued, "Maybe it's better that I didn't show, as you said. Wouldn't want my unhappy mood to take away from their big day."

"Right?" Kawasaki placed a glass of ice water in from on the brunette. "I was really surprised at who the bride was, though."

"Tell me, who _was_ the lucky lady?"

"I don't think you've ever met her, but I think her maiden name was 'Tsurumi'."

Orimoto ran a quick search through her mental databanks, returning zero matches.

"Who?"


End file.
